How to Become a Biblical Man

What is a Biblical man? (How to build a men’s ministry –Steve Sonderman)
  • Men of Integrity – integrity comes from the Hebrew word for whole, sound, unimpaired. It means to possess a genuine heart. No hidden messages. No hidden agenda. True to their word
  • Men of Intimacy – it’s a sharing of life with one another. Its allowing others into our heart. Its journeying into their heart. Intimacy with God, intimacy with wife, and intimacy with other men (Moses-Aaron; Joshua-Caleb; David –Jonathan)
  • Men of identity – we are often identified by our name, our family, our career –in reality our identity comes from Christ
    1. We have been created by God for God –Psalm 139:14 –we are fearfully and wonderfully made
    2. Christ loved us enough to die for us –John 3:16
    3. Christ lives in me –Galations 2:20
    4. Jesus is our model –he was able to cry and show compassion but he was also able to stand up for what he believed in; he chased guys out of the synagogue who were taking advantage of worshippers for business. He was power under control. Strength clothed in tenderness
  • Men of influence –its often said that God does not want us on the sidelines watching but on the field playing –that is a man of influence – a man who leaves his comfort zone and says as does ACDC –stand up and be counted. I want to be apart of what God is doing
Why we need a strong Men’s ministry
  • It was God’s design from the beginning – We were created as image bearers of God –man was to reflect God’s heavenly reign on earth. Man was to glorify God who created us.
    1. Genesis 1:28 – and God blessed them and God said be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth
  • God’s design for manhood has been disrupted –when Adam chose willfull rebellion against the law of God, he was choosing to forfeit his birthright by rejecting his calling to represent, be responsible, and enjoy his relationship with God, his wife, and the rest of creation
    1. Adam was held responsible –Romans 5:12 – sin entered through Adam and spread to men and women alike
    2. When Adam sinned, all of God’s intentions for man fell with man. Peace and enjoyment of God and his creation was lost
    3. Since the fall Man has been born without Adams’ responsibility, representation and relationship at least in the since that God meant in the beginning
    4. The definition of being an image bearer of God would be marred at the core of mans: man would struggle and replace what was meant to be reflected as a sign of his relationship with God with himself and creation.
    5. Fastforward to now –
      1. because of the fall – 68% of Christian men view pornography regularly and 50% of pastors view it regulary;
      2. 40% of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their father do not live;
  • A typical church congregation draws an adult crowd that is 61% female, 39% male
  1. On any given Sunday in the US there are 13 million more adult women that men in churches
  2. Midweek activities often draw 70-80% female participants, 20-30% male
  3. The majority of men who attend church do nothing during the week to grown in their faith
  • Over 90% of Christian men have never shared their faith with another man
  • Many churches are declining because men have stopped participating, growing and leading
  1. 90% of the boys raised in the church will abandon it by their 20th birthday and most don’t return
  • God has provided a perfect model and restorer in Jesus Christ
    1. reconciliation – a term that assumes discord in relationships, a discord initiated b an act of offense by at least one party in the relationship. Colossians 1:20 is the staple passage concerning reconciliation in Christ. “and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross”
    2. Jesus is restoring all things, Jesus will restore all things
    3. Jesus is the prototype man for men –Eric mason –Manhood restored “ all of us men are only manly as it relates to the standard set by Jesus. Romans 8:29 helps us to understand this point. “for those he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son, so that he would be the firstborn among many brothers. God’s design –his divine intent –is for those who are in Jesus to look like Jesus.”
      1. His commitment to face sin head on – Jesus didn’t shy away from confrontation that stems from confronting sin: he faced the self righteous sin of religious people, he faced the self- preserving sin of his closest friends who abandoned him, he faced being misunderstood by his family, mocked by society, maligned by the crowds, and even stolen from by the soldiers and this was a small sample of the sin he took to the cross and yet he went on.
      2. Jesus was driven –by the will of the father. To please the father in all that he did
  • Jesus overcame temptation – He resisted the temptation by the devil, he resisted the temptation to please man and the greatest resistance was to avoid the cross – in the garden of gethsemane
  1. Jesus was sensitive – he was humble, he showed emotions, he was jealous for the glory of God
  1. Jesus also revealed the importance of a men’s ministry –during his ministry he gathered and poured into 12 men. Why? Because the task that he was going to charge them with he knew that it would be impossible without each other: loving each other, praying for each other, encouraging each other and also holding each other accountable. Jesus started the first men’s ministry and he established the importance and the model

Men we need a strong ministry because there is no other option, period, we were created and commanded by God for this.

“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, Act Like Men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in Love” 1 Corinthians 16:13-14

Act Like men


Mature Manhood

God does not give us an option. God does not say, well if you could try to be a man, he commands us

Acts Like Men, to achieve mature manhood

Have you ever seen the movie Tears of the sun starring Bruce Willis – they go in to this village to remove this doctor and while there they decide to lead the village to a safe point but along the way they find out the new leader of the people is hiding and scared and Bruce Willis character is trying to motivate him to lead his people and be the leader he was born to become and of course he is scared and does not know how to lead nor wants to lead and so Bruce Willis tells him it’s time to “cowboy up” and lead his people. 

That is us as men –after the fall we lost the ability to lead our family, were scared and don’t know how to lead and we don’t want to lead and God is telling us to “cowboy up” and ACT like Men but good news of the gospel is that God doesn’t expect to do ourselves, he sent Jesus to reconcile us back to God and he has also sent the spirit of Christ in us to lead and guide us to be the men he commands us to be

Think about this men: this is our number 1 job as men to live our life to glorify God by being obedient to him by leading our families, our churches and our communities.

How do we live our life as men to Glorify God?

Galatians 5:16 –But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. God has provided us with the means to glorify him, through the spirit. If we walk by the Spirit, we will put off the things of the flesh and glorify God but remember

Ephesians 4:30 –we can grieve the spirit – we can sadden the spirit by not allowing the spirit to guide us

 1 Thess 5:19 – we can quench the spirit –not letting the power of the spirit to work in us and through us

How do we not keep from grieving the spirit and quenching the spirit and glorify God 

Patrick Morley –man in the mirror says that Christian men who are growing in Christ, are spiritually leading their families and are moving toward the center of God’s will with their lives, generally have 5 things in common

  • daily quiet time
  • weekly bible study
  • support the pastor and ministries of their local church
  • meet regularly with other Christian men
  • they have an active personal ministry – sharing their faith, serving others, etc
 What are our goals for our men’s ministry at Valleydale?

Valleydale Men: Ephesians 4:12-13 – to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ

Purpose Statement: Valleydale men exists to make Jesus known by equipping men for personal growth, disciple making, and service


  • teaching of the word of God –we will be a gospel centered men’s ministry
  • Devotional life/prayer life/evangelism – we will encourage all valleydale men to engage in personal and family devotions and prayer
  • Mentored/Pastored/ accountability – we will encourage all men to be in a small group and to have accountability partners/groups
  • Community –church/community –we will encourage all men to be involved in making Jesus known in our community, in North America and Globally
  • Exercise of gifts/mentoring through gifts –we will encourage all men to know and exercise their spiritual gifts to serve Jesus and Valleydale and to support the pastors and elders at Valleydale
How are we going to achieve these goals?

Men’s Breakfast -6 times a year

This is a breakfast at Valleydale Church where men gather to share a meal while being encouraged and challenged by a relevant, Gospel centered message

Men Life Groups –ongoing (meet with men Life Group leaders -2 times a year)

Groups meet weekly throughout the city of Birmingham and focus on four crucial elements of the Christian life:

  1. Biblical Truth
  2. Intentional Community
  3. Evangelistic Living
  4. Multiplication

Why Men Life Groups

  • Men Life Groups allow men to share life
  • Men Life Groups grow men in Christ
  • Men Life Groups offer accountability
  • Men Life Groups helps men learn and use spiritual gifts

Man Church -2-3 times a year

 Man church is where men worship together through songs and a gospel centered

 Missional activities -2 times a year

Why mission trips

  • Mission trips expose men to the realities of life in another
  • Mission trips give men a chance to see what cross-cultural missions is all about
  • Mission trips let men assist in the world of Christian Ministry
  • Mission trips stretch men spirituality

Other events -1-2 a year

Where men come together for fellowship, to build men to men relationships and to encourage each other